One Man’s Opinion Column: Valentine’s Day or Valentine’s Dollars?
AL STEINZ
Welcome to Valentine’s Day; roses, carnations, balloons, cards, chocolates, teddy bears, lingerie made of red satin, silk boxers with big red hearts, candle-lit dinners, champagne, overnight stays, and diamonds. When the hell is it all going to stop?
Every year on February 14, we celebrate the arrival of a curly-hair man in a diaper, carrying a bow and arrow. He is supposed to shoot the arrow through our hearts, and we are supposed to be smitten with hearts in our eyes, and love in our hearts. What a crock of s***!
What we are really supposed to do is go out and spend at least $3 on any number of Valentine’s Day cards, then go out and spend $5 on a dozen carnations (the "nice thought" scale) or $60 on a dozen roses (the "you really care about me" scale). Then we are expected to buy a gift to prove our devotion even more. They can range from a $10 teddy bear holding a heart, to a $25 red satin teddy which captures our hearts, to a $1000 tennis bracelet whose price stops our hearts. That seems to be an awful lot of "T" word gifts on "V" day.
Then if that is not enough, next comes the romantic candle-lit dinner for two, just you and 50 other couples sitting in a restaurant. How romantic. So figure in around $20 up to $100 more, depending on the restaurant and the meal.
Of course it cannot stop there; now it’s time to go out to the movies, or for drinks, and maybe some dancing, or better yet an overnight stay at a local hotel. Time to tack on at least $25 to $200, depending on your mood and your paycheck.
So let’s tally it all up. My approximation is about $208 for a card (only one), a dozen roses (I was feeling generous), a teddy bear holding a heart (a gift for her), a red satin teddy (a gift for him), a candle-lit dinner, a movie, and drinks afterwards (minors should exclude the drink costs).
$208 spent on one day, for what? Is it for a chance to re-light an old flame or to start a new one, or a chance to prove you are not a tight-ass one day out of the year (birthdays, anniversaries, and Christmas not included), or chance to try and "get you some"?
All Valentine’s Day has become is another day to spend more money then is necessary. Instead of trying to capture the perfect Hallmark moment for one day, make it 365 days. Instead of buying a dozen roses at one time, buy one a month for a whole year.
Better yet, buy and plant your own rose bush and enjoy many roses for a lifetime ( isn’t this how long love is supposed to last anyway).
Instead of going out for dinner, movies, drinks, and dancing, stay home and cook a romantic dinner for two together (remember guys, women love men that cook), light up the candles (enough to signal an airplane if you wish), throw on a C.D. of Frank (that’s Sinatra for the age and musically impaired), and enjoy the evening together, (hell even fall in love if you want too).
All things considered, it would be a lot less exhausting evening (on both you and your bank account), so you would have enough strength left if you were lucky to "get you some." Just do not forget the card.
Until later.
2/18/99 the Apache