JUST A THOUGHT COLUMN: Hey candidates, put up your dukes!
By Nate Bloomquist
ApacheEditor
The major networks and newspapers billed it, ‘Decision 2000.’ It should’ve been called Indecision 2000.
This year’s election was one of the closest in history. The electoral vote and popular vote were both won by paper-thin margins. The president-elect wasn’t determined until well after all of the polls in the country closed.
It would be easy to argue that our system for picking the president is archaic. The electoral college was designed by the forefathers because they didn’t completely trust the public to pick the president. And in this year’s election, the candidate winning the popular vote (Al Gore) didn’t win the electoral vote and lost the race for the White House. There must be a better way.
Throughout the campaign both candidates talked about how tough they are on certain issues. Gore said he’ll be tough on health care and protecting social security. George W. Bush said he’s going to be tough on setting standards for education. When it comes down to it, the nation had two tough-nosed candidates after the job.
But can they prove it?Instead of an electoral college vote, or a recount, or even a house of representatives vote (which only happens in case of an electoral college tie), Bush and Gore should fight for the presidency mano y mano.
Somewhere in Washington D.C., probably the MCI Center (where the NBA’s Washington Wizards play), there will be a wrestling ring set up by elections officials. On the second Monday after the first Saturday of December the two candidates will put up their dukes and fight for the White House.
An equal number of tickets will be available at the arena for Democrats and Republicans. And of course, the event will be covered by all major television networks. Gore and Bush will fight in a no-holds barred ‘battle royale.’
The referee of the contest will be current Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. The Republican from Yorkville was once a high school wrestling coach, which qualifies him to be an unbiased official in the event.
As is the case in the general election and in the World Wrestling Federation, third party candidates can interfere in the contest. Green party candidate Ralph Nader could try to distract the referee while Gore takes pins Bush. Reform Party nominee Pat Buchanan could hold Bush up against the ropes while Gore attacks ‘W.’
In the end there will be one winner, and two tired and bloodied men. In other words, the same result as the general election.