Time for a change in IVCC lobby
By Andrew Kelly
IV Leader Staff
Ways of telling time have been around since the age of
Sumerians and Egyptians. Whether it be with sundials, Rolexes, or the
ever-popular Swatch watch, people throughout history have been able to find out
what time it is without the slightest problem.
With this being said, why is it taking so long for IVCC to
move into the new millennium and buy a clock for the main lounging area of the
school.
With student tardiness spreading throughout IVCC like the
plague in Medieval Europe, a simple clock to hang on the wall would be a
definite antidote for the tardy disease, or how it is scientifically called
tardus latus.
“I absolutely think there should be a clock for the students
in here,” exclaims a certain cashier at IVCC who shall remain anonymous for her
own safety (the IVCC security are some tough and intimidating dudes).
Now really IVCC, what would our last great president
Rutherford B. Hayes think about this?
He would be outraged at the fact that kids sit confused and
disgruntled about the fact that they don’t know how long it’s been since their
last cigarette break. Not only that, if we stop reinforcing the clock system,
students will soon forget how many hands are on a clock, or how much time they
have left until the need to race home and see a solid hour of re-runs of “Real
World-Road Rule” battle of the sexes.
Without teens watching re-runs of their favorite reality
program, the whole democratic system that keeps the United States running is
bound to just fall apart.
Big Angry Joe Rue, who is an avid “Real World-Road Rules”
watcher, has voiced his displeasure on this subject quite often. “I think it’s
ludicrous that poor people without cell phones are not able to find out the
time.”
Some people are going to great lengths to be able to tell
what time it is.
Freshman Scott Shevlin seems to have an effective approach to
getting around the problem.
“Everyone is complaining about having no clock, but if you
squat at just the height, and cock your head at just the right angle, you can
catch a glimpse of the clock in the cashier’s room.”
It sounds more like a yoga technique than anything, but it
just shows the extent to which students will go to read a clock.
With the growing need to know what time it is in this world,
it would be fantastic if IVCC could oblige the students outcry, and throw a
clock up on the wall in the lounge area. If not done soon, riots might start,
buildings may fall and kids will continue to be late to class.