Epitome of Hyperbole
By Jarryd Hawley
IV Leader Columnist, Sept. 23, 2010
In today’s culture everyone has Facebook, and I mean everyone (I’ve heard the Amish can even update their status by mail now). And as everyone knows, where there is popularity, there are people looking to profit from the popularity.
One such company looking to make money off Facebook is Zynga, the company responsible for such games as Texas Hold Em’ Poker, YoVille, and most importantly Farmville.
Farmville has garnered huge participation all over the world, with participation being a HUGE understatement in so many cases. A better description, Total…Farmville…Addiction! So in an effort to do my duty to the community and nation, I have compiled a list of warning signs that you may have fallen into the corny hole that is Farmville addiction.
If you have ever had to leave a lunch or doctors appointment in a frantic dash because your strawberries are going to wilt, this is the first sign that things are getting serious, don’t be too concerned yet but keep an eye on things.
If you have ever almost starved your dog to death because you didn’t remember to feed him because there are no dogs in Farmville, this is cause to start being concerned, but how are you supposed to know the difference right? Likewise if you have ever spent real money, done accounting of what crops will reap the most profit, or tried to build a stable using only horseshoes and harnesses, see a doctor, or a movie with some friends, you need fresh air and human interaction.
The most revealing and sure sign of a true Farmville addict is when they see a field of corn and say “Look, just like Farmville!”. At this point all should abandon hope for this person, or at least plot to abandon their computer in some inconspicuous looking Soybean field.
We all know a bunch of people who fill this description of a Farmville addict, now friends, it is your duty to help them. If you have just read this and realized that you are the addict, don’t lose hope, you can get through this, Farmvillains Anonymous is always a great place to start.
If I only affect one person with this column my mission will be accomplished and I will be happy; if I affect no one, my assignment will be accomplished, and I will likewise be happy. Gotta love a Win-Win!