The Lottery
Column by Greta Lieske, Sept. 13, 2007
No one is perfect, and some are not born with those seemingly wonderful and ‘innate’ qualities that are thought to be in everyone. For example, I am some one completely lacking the ‘maternal instinct’ that most women are expected to possess.
That’s right. I have the guts to come out and say it: I hate babies.
Of course, the more politically correct way to put it would be that I don’t necessarily care for children. But, for all intents and purposes, it’s simply that I hate babies.
Now, this may seem harsh. And perhaps it is, but I have been pushed to this extent.
Because I am of the female gender it is simply expected that I swoon over babies and children, but I just can’t. Babies are needy, and being someone of a highly needy caliber, I just can’t take the competition.
Children are always sticky, riddled with germs, stick their faces on everything, are getting more and more disrespectful, can’t seem to eat an ice cream cone without shoving it in their nose and having it drip out again mixed with vicious snot and, most importantly, they can’t tell me new Chuck Norris jokes.
And one of the worst parts is that in everyday life, I am forced to pretend that I do like children. Any other response from a female would just be unpleasant.
If I finally reach the point where I don’t (and mostly can’t) put on the song and dance of fake smiles and bogus ooo’s and ahhh’s and I break into reality to tell someone that I just don’t really like children, I don’t know what to do with them and I never want any of them, I get a look of shock.
Not to mention the usual verbal responses of: “But, if you don’t have kids, then what is your purpose in life? What are you living for? How can your life ever mean anything?”
Maybe it’s just me, but I never really thought of women as merely ‘baby-making machines.’ There are still great things that a woman can do and accomplish in her life that do not include motherhood.
It is not a wasted life if it does not produce offspring. What kind of way of thinking is this? And what kind of a thing is this to teach other younger generations of girls? That what they accomplish is only worth anything if they bring a child into this world?
If a woman chooses for herself that she does not want kids then it should not be looked at as pulling a Benedict Arnold on her uterus. Some would rather focus on their careers, making positive changes around them, a spontaneous lifestyle and some just should not be a parent anyway.
Motherhood is a job that I would rather not apply for, and this decision should not be judged or be a reason to de-value a woman’s life, and what she, as a person, can offer this world.
Now, I’m not saying there is anything wrong with being a mother and being proud of it.
In fact, I respect those that do it, and especially my own mother…however, I don’t want to hear that cute thing your little one did this morning, I don’t want to see the pictures that you carry around and I don’t care that you just bought the cutest little outfit equipped with cowboy boots and matching hat.
I just cannot bring myself to care and I don’t think it is cute, and I refuse to be patronized for it as if I’m deemed by my gender to inherently do so.