Dialogue explores issue of being gay
By Ashlei Maltman
IV Leader Staff, Oct. 19, 2006
Students learned about what it was like to be gay during
an Oct. 10 program. POWER, the nursing program and the Gay/Straight Alliance
Club put together a dialogue for a panel to talk about what it was and is like
being gay in the Illinois Valley. The panelists included Sue Isermann,
co-sponsor of the Gay/Straight Alliance Club; Tom Day, 58; Carol, 62; and Adam,
19.
One question asked was about what it was like for them to
come out to their families and friends. Carol said in her day people just “tried
to fit in” because being gay “was not acceptable.” She and her partner have been
together for 25 years and for the first 17 years of their relationship they were
in the closet.
She referred to it as being “homophobic to ourselves.” She
says, however, that it is important to talk about sexuality and, for kids, to
just “let them be the people that they are.” When telling her family, she said
that she “was scared to death” yet at the same time it was “incredibly freeing.”
She went on to say that she knew there was no way to go back and that, even
though it was not accepted, she said, “I was okay with what I was.”
Tom, on the other hand, said that he did not get much
criticism. He said once he talked it through with his friends, they were okay
with it. For Sue, she and her family decided not to address it because, if they
did, she said it “was not a pleasant time.” However, she now has a family of her
own and feels that if she thought about what her life would be like now two
years ago, she “never thought I would have a family.”
When telling his family, Adam simply said, “I was scared
****less.” Religion was also a topic that was discussed. For Carol, she and her
partner left one of their churches because they felt like they were being pushed
out. They soon found another church that was much more accepting and are very
happy there. Adam, when asked, told us that he often wondered if he would go to
Hell for being gay.
However, to get him through it, he simply thinks to himself
“I can’t see God punishing me for loving someone.” Religion was a very emotional
topic for, not only the panel, but for some in the audience.
Tom felt that coming out is the “scariest thing you’ll ever
do and the best thing you’ll ever do.” After revealing some parts of his life he
simply, and happily said, “that’s been my life and so far things have been
pretty good.”
However, for Sue and her partner, bad times have been seen.
She talked about how she and her partner have been followed around in stores and
purposely not waited on. She also said that if she and her partner were walking
in Chicago, then holding hands felt acceptable. However, if they were walking in
the Peru Mall, holdings hands seemed frowned upon and they would not do it. The
subject was brought up if they thought discrimination was more in a big town or
a small town.
The conclusion was that discrimination is felt everywhere. To
this, Sue simply said with a smile on her face, “This is who I am and I’m okay
with it.”