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Two negatives equal something right?

By Mark "The Hammer" Edgecomb
IV Leader Staff

    Hammer Point #1
    Summer passed much too quickly for me this year.
    Now summer is history and the fall semester at IVCC is underway. Turning onto Orlando Smith Avenue, on the first day of school the new, yet sometime controversial, IVCC sign displayed the time and temperature.
    However, I was unable to read the other message as I zoomed past the infamous sign because I was talking with my banker attempting to acquire a second mortgage allowing me enough cash to fill up my gas tank for this semester’s commute.
    Struggling to fasten my seat belt so as not to get a ticket from a Safety Service Officer (really they can only have your car towed, third mortgage.) I reviewed my class schedule duct taped to the dashboard I notice my gas gauge pointer resting on empty. Not overly confident my credit score will guarantee my much-needed loan.
    Yet, at the same time, optimistic the center courtyard will be open, so I can make it to my first class, Math 0907, on time.
Incidentally, I still pull my over-stuffed, handled, wheeled bookbag behind me, but it seems infinitely heavier this semester. It must be the math book with all those infinite numbers.
    I stopped being a traditional student approximately three decades ago.
    As a returning, confirmed, hardened, unalterable, sometimes-habitual chronic and persistent Non-Traditional student; I have been subjected to and required to take “Placement Tests.”
    I stopped lamenting this summer, took the math placement test, and placed into Math 0907.
    Indeed, by the end of this semester, I will be able to solve for x, y, and any other letter I choose.
    I believe, if I remembered correctly that when you multiply two negative numbers you get a positive. However, it seems my banker does not remember this simple rule because I have many negative numbers that are always multiplying; nevertheless, they always end up as negatives on my bank statement.


    Hammer Point #2
    Our President of the United States has gotten this country into quite the mess over in the Middle East. Here is Hammer’s take; Imagine a pickup truck parked under a large hornets nest. The driver of the truck tells his beer-drinking buddy to climb out and use a baseball bat to knock down the hornets nest. Instead, his buddy drinks a couple of beers to perk up his courage. Finally, getting his courage up, and being a loyal friend, he climbs out into the back of the truck and starts swinging his bat. He swings and misses a number of times. At last, his bat connects, and the nest falls into the box at this poor guys feet. The driver panics and puts the truck into reverse and crashes into the tree trunk. This leaves the friend outside, swarmed by angry hornets. The driver is fearful and refuses to get out, or help. In fact, he is not acting like much of a friend. Certainly not a very bright friend is he.


Hammer Point #3
    All of the second floor buildings are linked, except Building C, Which is in a state of limbo at this moment. Since I was up top I figured why not pay a quick visit to my counselor (and friends) at Project Success. Where have all the nice people gone? All three have resigned. Times are changing here at IVCC. Those in Building C need to heed the signs. Perhaps I shall resign from Project Success. Since I have reached my limit and lack the strength to deal with number crunching types. Seeing that I already have infinite other tasks to contend with this semester. Hope my banker approves that loan.

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