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Christmas cheer spreads to Hammer, IVCC

Mark Edgcomb
IV Leader Staff
 

    The search committee that is about to start the quest for a new President can disperse; its services are no longer needed.
    How is it we lowly students could find this one individual that demonstrates all the qualifications required for such a demanding, stressful, and cherished job? Who is this new dean for our school?. Unfortunately, this person still attends classes at IVCC, and shall not earn a PhD until 2015. I am sure our board will have narrowed the number of highly qualified candidates for this job by that date.
    The importance of choosing the appropriate person is certainly a challenging endeavor, which requires vast amounts of time and money.
    Hopefully, in time, I will pass my 0907 math class which would make my graduation from IVCC possible and start earning money. Maybe I will return to IVCC with my master’s degree and find work in Project Success; certainly, the administration will have created a co-director position by then, or I’ll apply for the more essential job in the mailroom.
    Algebra and I have come to an unwritten gentleman’s agreement: if it stops with all the negative numbers I will do my best to stay positive.
    Soon, the cold artic snow will start to blow and drift as we hoof it in from the distant, potholed parking lots sometimes perambulated by safety service personal. I remain extremely positive they will find any student before they become frozen inside one of those craters. They have never lost a student yet. Keep up the fine work.
    One only has to turn on the ten o’clock network news, and at that moment one should realize indeed how tremendously good life in America truly is. Therefore, in the coming spring semester, no more negative attitude, only positive thought.
    I am completely optimistic my knowledge and understanding of this world will increase, and the vacant office up in Building C can find an occupant.
    It is true I have received a great deal more education than what I have paid and bargained for here at IVCC — like the extra help and insight from numerous professors when I required and asked for their assistance. One cannot place a true cost on these kinds of items or begin to pay for this assistance. Nevertheless, here is one big “THANK YOU” to all for your help and guidance. Maybe this positive thinking is a good thing.
    With the holidays, fast approaching here is a song for all at IVCC.

                                                                        Twelve Days of Cheer at IVCC

                                                                        My school board has given me:
                                                    Twelve soda machines a vending Pepsi product only.
                                                        Eleven Dell computers a computing and printing.
                                                     Ten extra points a given for attending cultural events.
                                                    Nine library books over due at 50 cents a day for each.
                                                    Eight pairs of flip-flops a flopping and PJ covered legs.
                                        Seven guidance counselors a counseling guiding us somewhere.
                                                Six students a sleeping, their legs flung across the chairs.
                                        Five safety service personal patrolling keeping all safe and sound.
                                       Four admissions personnel a registering all the bright-eyed students.
                                            Three cashiers a cashing our checks bringing our balance down.
                                        Two English professors still a grading those wrongly cited papers.
                                                                           And one president still missing.



Hammer wishes you all a nice rest from homework over the semester break and Merry Ch—- no BAH HUMBUG.

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