A MARC OF EXCELLENCE COLUMN: I am virtually tired
By Marc Znaniecki
Long ago, I remember a better time when I eagerly waited in anticipation to check my email account and discover which friends had sent me a joke, an inquiry, a reminder, or just a small little “hello.”
But now, I am constantly blocking senders and deleting emails that I have absolutely no use for. I have come to truly abhor checking my email as of late. So often is my inbox flooded with spam that it makes it look so devoid of what I used to love so much about it.
I checked my account today and found that in the past week, 85% of my emails were solicitations. I get ads offering satellite dishes, jobs, personals, sexual services, “free” merchandise, compact disc, etc.
Do I really have a need to increase my breast size??? If I were so poor that I needed a loan, I probably wouldn’t be able to afford my internet connection! I really do not need to “discover” the secrets of my family tree. I think I already know the important people in my life.
Nor have I any desire to find out my so-called “secret admirer.” I truly hope I have no secret admirer. My fiancée wouldn’t be too thrilled about it.
Often do I search my spam to find the “Remove Address” section of the emails. Often do I send for my address to be removed; unfortunately I keep getting the same crap day after day.
What part of “NO” can they not understand?? Is it he “N” or the “O” or the “E”?
Nothing would make me happier than to find the jerk-offs who send me (and countless others) their “wares” and “deals." Then I would peel off the top layers of their skin, to expose muscles and nerves, then bind them to a post in the wilderness and pour something delicious to the native animals so that the “spammers” are literally gnawed to death.
Some might think of me as a harsh individual, but I feel this is a just punishment for them.
What, if anything, can be done to these phantom spammers? I do not know that answer. I merely decided to open another email account and only give it out to people I’d like to correspond with. I also made sure that my name and email address wasn’t listed in a homepage directory.
I hope this will allow me to have peace of mind and to once again enjoy the better times.