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  There is one sound...

   By Tracy Morris
   Guest Columnist

Editor's note: Tracy Morris is the director of admissions and records at IVCC. Her story is one of unnecessary loss; a story that far too many are familiar with. In 1999, Tracy's sister Amanda was killed in alcohol-related car accident. Like many of our readers, Amanda was a 20-year-old IVCC student who only drank on occasion to have fun with friends. It is our hope that this story brings to life the real and likely consequences of drunk driving.


    There is one sound -a haunting sound- that a person who has experienced it will never forget. It is the sound of a knock at the door in the middle of the night. My mom always told me growing up how much she would worry about us, and always feared hearing that sound. I never really understood what she meant. That is, until I heard it myself.
    In the early morning hours of September 26, 1999 I heard this knocking and had to open my parents' door to their worst nightmare. Standing on our front porch were the coroner and several police officers who came to tell us that my sister, Amanda, and her friends (ages 20, 18, 22 and 26) were dead. They had been killed shortly after midnight and there was no way we would ever see them again. As you can imagine, this was devastating for so many reasons but most of all because we were all together that night. We had a family birthday party and although we knew they were drinking, no one thought that the driver (my sister's new boyfriend from the suburbs) was drunk. None of us thought to take the keys or tell them they couldn't drive. I remember waving goodbye without any worries. I knew they would get home safely and I'd see them tomorrow. They weren't stumbling, slurring or acting at all drunk, although the inquest showed that the driver was above the legal limit.
    When asked to put into words how this has impacted my family, there are no words, but it is clear when I see pictures of my family from before the accident and since then. My brother was married just 3 weeks before Amanda died and we have beautiful family pictures. In my wedding photos, there is a lot of happiness, but you can see the emptiness that not having my sister there as my maid of honor brought to that day.
    My mother has been a speaker for Victim Impact Panels to talk about the impact of drunk driving and has been involved in the Compassionate Friends program that is support for parents who have lost a child. She has been able to help many people along the way, but at such a great cost. As a family, we tell stories about Amanda: what a free spirit she was, the crazy things she would do, the practical jokes. These bring me more comfort now and I am able to smile when I think of these memories, but it is still heartbreaking to think of the things she didn't get to do: celebrate her 21st birthday, graduate from college, get married, have children, live to regret the large Gemini tattoo she had on her right arm and so much more. Next month, my sister would have celebrated her 27th birthday.
    When I talk about my sister and I share what happened to her, I am always saddened to hear about how many other people have had to face the loss of a family member or friend from drinking and driving. It happens too often, and to too many people. In the 5 miles from Spring Valley to the site of the accident, the lives of four young people were gone and the lives of hundreds were changed forever. Amanda, Brooke and Bob were all from Putnam County and were IVCC students. There is no way to take back that lapse in judgment; no way to "do over." All it takes is to have one person be that designated driver; one person to be the lifesaver for the night. Have a designated driver, or be that designated driver. Choose to say "no," or find other things to do. Please save your parents and your friends from hearing that knock on the door.

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