By B. Eddie Bauman

Winter is coming and I find myself dreading the cold, windy walks from the distant parking lots. I really don’t mind the two-mile trek when the weather is nice, but in the winter I get downright hateful about it.

I find myself resenting all staff and faculty members who get to park in the closer lots. Most of them show up carrying little or nothing while the students have 200 pound backpacks full of everything they will need for the day. Some of the students have so many books and notebooks they have resorted to the pulley-style book carriers. That will be fun in the snow. If there were more ramps in the far parking lots, I would go ahead and get myself a shopping cart for my things.

In order to get from the far parking lots to the campus in the blistering cold, students must wear coats, hats and boots. I get very cold. I wear all of that plus much, much more. Inside the sweltering classrooms and halls I must balance the 300 pound backpack (it gets heavier as the day goes on) and all of my outerwear as I maneuver through the crowds. Faculty and staff have a place to put their coats during the day.

It has been pointed out to me that there are lockers for rent in the cafeteria. Great spot! If you can get down that staircase with all of your stuff without wiping out, you are not going to pay money to leave it there. The lockers are not big enough to hold all of the stuff I bring, and you have to pay every time you open the door. That’s why there are always so many available.

I wouldn’t be doing all of this whining if I didn’t have a viable solution to suggest. I’m really a city person, so I know how to handle situations such as this: Valet parking and coat check! It works in downtown Chicago, why not here? Some entrepreneurial student could make a fortune!

Okay, you’re right. The Illinois Valley is not exactly like the Gold Coast of Chicago. Maybe those ideas would not go over well out here. I have an alternative solution.

The entryway between the Cultural Center and Building C is huge and wide and basically empty. How about full-length lockers there? They don’t have to be the ugly metal ones. Attractive wood ones would not affect the ambiance of the entryway. The college could charge by the semester. Friends could share to defray the cost. The college could make money on the deal.

If my locker idea doesn’t fly, I’m going to invent retractable sleds for the pulley-style book bags and I will be the one making a fortune!