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ONCE MORE UNTO THE BREACH COLUMN: Grammar is lacking

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KEN SCHROEDER

"…and gladly would he learn, and gladly teach."

Maybe I’m old-fashioned, although I doubt that very seriously, but certain things strike me as a necessity when you get to a certain area. Especially if you are representing yourself as an expert.

For instance, I would like to think that the doctor who is about to remove my appendix at least knows what an appendix is. I certainly expect him to remove the appendix and not my right kidney.

Likewise, I’m sure we all feel a little safer believing that whoever is running the LaSalle Nuclear Station has at least a familiarity with nuclear physics. At least, we hope he does, although evidence does point to the contrary.

With that in mind, I direct your attention to the IVCC website, the Student Services page to be precise. For those unfamiliar, the page will direct you to all of the various programs that IVCC has to offer you, from Career Planning to Disability Services.

It also directs you to the Reading, Writing and Study Skills Lab, where you can brush up on such things as sentence structure. CAUTION: Do not use the lab for sentence structure advice!!! Why? It apparently doesn’t work, since, at the bottom of the page, as of October 27th when this column was written, the Student Services page advised, and I quote:

"We here to help you succeed and to be a resource for you life."

I wouldn’t accept that kind of sentence from a grade school student, so what is it doing on a college webpage? According to the indicia, the webpage was last modified on July 29; it’s gone this long without being noticed by the college?

Those who think I’m being petty here should realize that, just as what we do can reflect upon our school, also what the school does reflects upon us. Now while I doubt that anyone will be denied a job or admission to a higher university because someone somewhere along the line failed grammar but passed computer website design, it does somewhat reinforce the concept that in the Midwest, we are ignorant barbarians, barely above Californians on the evolutionary scale. (Ok, so I AM being a trifle bit petty…)

I don’t think we’re asking too much that, by the time we become college students, not to mention college instructors, we learn how to write a proper sentence. Especially since many of us are going to try to teach that skill to the next generation. Shouldn’t we accomplish it first?

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